Four years ago today we lost our very first family dog, Reznor. He was only 5. It was probably the hardest loss of any animal I had ever experienced because it was so sudden and surprising. Plus, it's really hard to let go of the "what ifs" - even to this day.
Reznor never got the pleasure of having a blog because when he was around I did not blog about my pets, just my business. He did get a few mentions over at Scratchings and Sniffings though.
He was a sweetheart as long as you had two legs. If you had four legs...well, no guarantees. He seemed to think he was Kujo sometimes, which was always surprising because he had such a laid back demeanor otherwise. He was Miah's first dog. She loved him!
On December 19, 2007 Reznor ran into the backyard after a squirrel or a rabbit, nothing out of the ordinary. He was out there for a bit and when we let him in we noticed he seemed to have a slight limp. And I mean really slight. So slight we watched him walk around for a bit trying to decide if he was limping at all. We were headed off to a holiday party and decided we would see how he was doing when we got back. (First "what if" - what if I had paid more attention then and done something right away...)
Reznor was home for about 3 hours while we mingled with friends. When we returned his limp seemed to be about the same and he wasn't whining when we felt around his leg trying to trigger the injured area. So, we decided that again we would wait and see what happened. (Second "what if" - what if we had taken him in then? Would it have made a difference?)
Monday morning came and was a complete rush of getting Miah to school and myself to work. Reznor was the same. He definitely wasn't worse, so we headed out the door. (Third "what if" - what if I had paid more attention to him? Would I have noticed that he was indeed worse? Was I too caught up in my own morning to give him proper attention? This is the hardest "what if" for me.)
Then, at about 3:30pm my husband called. He said Reznor was much worse. He was now dragging his hind leg, and it seemed like his other hind leg was also being affected. My stomach immediately flipped and I felt a lot of guilt for not paying closer attention to him that morning. I should have noticed something and rushed him to the Vet right away. But, I didn't. That event still makes me really sad.
Matt rushed Reznor in to the Vet and I waited for the phone call. When it came, it wasn't good. Apparently Reznor had a degenerative spinal disorder. The Vet actually asked us if he had ever had any trama, like a car accident or something because having it so bad so young was very rare. Not to our knowledge, but we adopted him from the local Humane Society and he was always a bit skittish around men. I had wondered for some time if he had been beaten as a puppy. He even had an odd little scar on his side. I have no idea how Reznor ended up with such a terrible spine, and was devastated that we couldn't really do anything about it. That poor little spine decided it could no longer support his wild ways, and it broke, and it slowly began paralyzing him. His spine was so far gone it was hard to even tell exactly where the bone was cutting into his nerves and spinal cord.
The Vet did the only thing he could do and gave Reznor a shot that would hopefully subside the swelling and get him back on his feet.
It didn't work.
Tuesday morning he was no better. The Vet said if it was going to work we would notice a difference within 12 hours. So as I called the Vet to report this with tears rolling down my face, my doorbell rang. Still on the phone I answered the door to find my neighbor holding her hand under my daughter's chin because it was cut wide open and bleeding everywhere. I had to re-prioritize and hang up with the Vet.
I spent the next several hours in the ER while Miah got 11 stitches in her chin and had her other wounds on her nose and forehead cleaned up. She was a trooper through it. And, luckily, my neighbor agreed to stay with Reznor and watch him until my Mother-in-law could come over and stay with him until we got back home.
Once I was back home and Miah was at school - she really wanted to go back and show off her stitches - I got back on the phone with the Vet. By this time Reznor could not really move his hind legs at all, but he was still trying to move around. He was lifting himself up with his front legs and trying to drag himself around. I ended up using a towel to hoist up his back end and help him outside to relieve himself, but I knew I could not do that forever.